


Forgiveness

by CleverUsernameHere



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, if kissing counts, mentions of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:15:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26653528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CleverUsernameHere/pseuds/CleverUsernameHere
Summary: Sam feels guilty about kissing Eileen and confesses to Dean what happened
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> Set after 15x09 “The Trap”
> 
> I can’t remember if Dean saw Sam and Eileen kiss, but if he did then just pretend he didn’t

“Sam, you have to talk to me.” Dean sighed, sitting on the edge of their bed. Sam stayed laid on his side, but scooted a bit closer when Dean rested a hand on his hip. 

“Since when do you wanna talk about anything?” Sam muttered out, tired eyes glancing up to where Dean stared down at him. Dean scoffed out a small laugh, but Sam wasn’t in a smiling mood. 

“Since you were trapped by God himself and you won’t even tell me what happened.” Dean had been pushing him since Sam returned, wanting the full story. 

Sam swallowed through the lump in his throat. While that was weighing heavy on Sam’s mind, it wasn’t the main source of the guilt consuming him. 

“That’s not it.” Sam whispered, not wanting to even talk about Chuck at the moment. He should’ve known Dean would continue to question rather than let it go.

“Then what is it?” Dean asked. Sam rolled onto his back, shrugging against the mattress. He couldn’t meet Dean’s eyes when his brother’s fingers crept under his shirt. Dean rested his hand softly on Sam’s belly, hoping the skin on skin contact would bring some sort of comfort. 

“Look, Sam, you can be honest with me. I know you and Eileen went through a lot today.” Sam tensed at her name and Dean noticed almost immediately. “Sam-“

“I kissed Eileen.” Sam confessed in a whisper, shame and guilt washing over his being as Dean pulled his hand away. 

“You kissed her?” Dean hissed out, his demeanor changing as he stood from the bed. 

“I’m sorry.” Sam was quick to sit up on the edge of the bed as he looked up to his brother. Sam couldn’t help but wish he could click off the bedside lamp as not to see the hurt look on Dean’s face.

“Why, Sam?” Dean pleaded for an answer. 

“She- she was standing there and looking at me like she was expecting me to do something.” Sam tried to justify, but the second he said it out loud, Sam knew it wasn’t right. Nevertheless, he kept trying to explain himself. “How was I supposed to explain that- that I was taken?”

“You could’ve easily turned her down.” Dean snapped back.

“Then she'd ask questions and the only explanations from her perspective would’ve been Cas or... or you.” Sam lowered his gaze, staring down at the floor.

“So you’re ashamed of me? Of us?” Dean’s tone had changed from one of anger to one of sadden. 

“No!” Sam was quick to respond. “But we’re brothers, Dean, you must know how that would look to someone else.” 

“You still didn’t have to do it.” While Sam was still looking at the ground, he could tell Dean was shaking his head in disappointment.

“I didn’t even think,” Sam admitted, his hindsight 20/20. “She was leaving anyway and I didn’t want to upset her.” 

“Which one is it, Sam?” Dean demanded lowly. “You didn’t want her to know about us or you didn’t want her to feel bad?” 

“Both.” Sam decided after a long moment. “I know I shouldn’t have done it and I’m sorry.” Sam’s heart was racing out of his chest. He hated this. He hated what he had done and how he’d made his brother feel. 

There was another long silence as Dean stared at him. Sam finally lifted his head, eyes filled with tears. 

“I’m gonna go sleep in one of the other rooms.” Dean finally said in a mutter.

“No, Dean, please.” Sam begged, reaching for his brother's wrist. “I love you so much and I’m so sorry.” He gazed up into Dean’s eyes, trying to convey how he felt. “I’m just… I’m so tired of disappointing people. I thought it would make her feel better. I should’ve known better, anytime I try to do something nice it just backfires. I know it was stupid, but I felt bad for her.”

Sam sniffled and stood from the bed. Dean didn’t move, but he didn’t meet Sam’s eyes either. Sam leaned forward, gently pressing his lips to Dean’s.

The kiss was soft but one sided. “I’m so sorry,” Sam muttered over and over against Dean’s lips.

Dean kissed back briefly before pulling back with a sigh, contemplating over everything Sam had said. “It’s okay, Sammy.” He muttered softly, resting a hand on Sam’s warm cheek. “I forgive you.” Dean wiped a tear away.

Sam swallowed down his surprise, his tears eyes gazing into Dean’s. “You’re not mad?” 

“Honestly, Sam, I don’t have the energy to be angry at you.” Dean confessed, guiding the two of them to sit side by side on the bed. “You’re my brother and I love you,” Dean stroked his fingers through Sam’s hair, guiding his head to rest on his shoulder. “And I know you’re obviously upset over it.”

Sam sniffled and nodded against Dean’s shoulder. “We still need to talk about this at some point.” Dean reminded. “Just not right now.” 

Dean then moved the two of them until he was laying flat on the bed with Sam’s head on his chest. Dean pressed a kiss to the top of Sam’s head as he nuzzled closer.

“I'm so sorry” Sam murmured his promise. “I love you, Dean.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.” Dean said softly. “Just try and get some rest, you need it.”

Sam was way ahead of him, though. His eyes had already slipped shut, taking in the comfort of being held by his big brother, the one he truly loved more than anything.


End file.
